Critique Requested

[seleneheart]

This is the art I mentioned in a previous comment that I am struggling with, particularly the character wearing the red shirt. I'm mostly okay with the one in blue, but I know he could be improved as well.

The one in the red shirt though . . . he looks like a doll or something. Part of the problem is that the character himself (Wayne from Letterkenny) is pretty stiff. I mean, his nickname is "Shirtucker". He never untucks his shirt or unbuttons his cuffs (unless he's about to get in a fight). He barely even smiles. The actor tends to play him as moving his whole body when other people would do something else. Wayne is whatever the opposite of languid would be.

Anyway, I went overboard with the stiffness. I used a reference photo, but I had to move the arm.



I'd appreciate any help! I did it on Procreate so I still have layers and I'd love to edit it and replace this. The big bang post has gone up so I'm not breaking any rules posting here.

Comments

[goss]

Can you link to the photo you used as reference?

[seleneheart]

https://seleneheart.dreamwidth.org/file/20227.jpg

It's there. As you can see I flipped it from the original. Do you want pics of the characters as well?

[goss]

Thanks! Okay, I think I can see a few things that you can do to relieve some of the doll-like feel to the figure.

(1) Head - I think you could tilt the head slightly downwards and instead of an exact side profile, it could maybe face a bit more towards the other figure.

(2) Right arm - There is some foreshortening in the photo, where the lower arm is moving inwards to the other figure (it's not the same length as the upper arm), so it's not just rigid to its side like a doll's would be.

(3) Musculature - You could bulk up the back/shoulders a bit more, since a quick google shows me that the character is meant to be some kinda tough guy, right?

Happy to help out in any way that I can, so feel free to let me know if you need clarification or any further advice. :)

[seleneheart]

Yes, that's very helpful! Thank you. I'm gonna redo it and then repost.

[goss]

Okay, I used a very crude stylus to sketch out what I was thinking in my comment above:

[minoanmiss]

This is such great advice. I'm learning from it too!

[seleneheart]

I think that ends up with him being too tall. The two characters are nearly the same height. I'll try moving his head forward though. I have a better idea what it would look like now, thanks!

[ruuger]

I think it's the way that his head is positioned on his body that's the problem. The pose would look more natural if you moved the head lower and a bit forward, maybe so that the part of the neck that's now exposed would be hidden by the collar. Also, if you bend his arm slightly upwards from the wrist it will look less doll-like.

[seleneheart]

Thanks! I'm going to try that!

[oldtoadwoman]

Until I saw the photo reference, I was about to ask what orientation they were standing in. Because it kind of looks like RedShirt might just be standing closer to the viewer than BlueShirt and they aren't that close. (Whereas the couple in the photo reference are clearly touching.) I realize this feedback doesn't directly answer your original question, but I do think adding shadows to BlueShirt's back would help make the perspective clearer.

I think the biggest problem is that the pattern of his shirt makes him look very flat. Re-drawing that kind of pattern with folds in the cloth is a pain in the butt, but right now having a grid emphasizes the flatness and is probably contributing to the "doll" feel.

[goss]

the pattern of his shirt makes him look very flat

Oh, I didn't pick up on that, but you are so correct! The planes and curves of the body would definitely be reflected in the bends of the fabric, which is why patterned clothing can be such a pain, unless it's deliberately flat patterns like a Klimt.

[seleneheart]

Fair point with the shirt. Maybe I'll take it off him, get his torso correct, and then rethink his garments.

[mekare]

I think what the others already said should help with your question! Especially the way his head is positioned on top of his torso.

Good luck with the edits (and I so wish I had layers in traditional art sometimes too...)

[seleneheart]

Those are called 'rough drafts' in traditional art! ^_^

[ride_4ever]

I"m not a visual artist, so I'm not commenting about anything regarding technique. I just want to say that I <3 you doing Letterkennny art.

[seleneheart]

Thanks!

[syntheid]

I think everyone else's replies above have some good points, though just as an alternative if you want to keep kinda that awkward-stiff feel of the character, I'd maybe go with a shoulder touch instead of like a waist hug. But from googling it does look like he's supposed to be pretty beefy and so beefing him up will help feel less doll-like too, like goss said.

My quick sketch example:

[seleneheart]

Oh yes, that makes complete sense! He's not the most demonstrative of people so that would be in character.