Critique Requested

[seleneheart]

This is the art I mentioned in a previous comment that I am struggling with, particularly the character wearing the red shirt. I'm mostly okay with the one in blue, but I know he could be improved as well.

The one in the red shirt though . . . he looks like a doll or something. Part of the problem is that the character himself (Wayne from Letterkenny) is pretty stiff. I mean, his nickname is "Shirtucker". He never untucks his shirt or unbuttons his cuffs (unless he's about to get in a fight). He barely even smiles. The actor tends to play him as moving his whole body when other people would do something else. Wayne is whatever the opposite of languid would be.

Anyway, I went overboard with the stiffness. I used a reference photo, but I had to move the arm.



I'd appreciate any help! I did it on Procreate so I still have layers and I'd love to edit it and replace this. The big bang post has gone up so I'm not breaking any rules posting here.

Comments

[oldtoadwoman]

Until I saw the photo reference, I was about to ask what orientation they were standing in. Because it kind of looks like RedShirt might just be standing closer to the viewer than BlueShirt and they aren't that close. (Whereas the couple in the photo reference are clearly touching.) I realize this feedback doesn't directly answer your original question, but I do think adding shadows to BlueShirt's back would help make the perspective clearer.

I think the biggest problem is that the pattern of his shirt makes him look very flat. Re-drawing that kind of pattern with folds in the cloth is a pain in the butt, but right now having a grid emphasizes the flatness and is probably contributing to the "doll" feel.

[goss]

the pattern of his shirt makes him look very flat

Oh, I didn't pick up on that, but you are so correct! The planes and curves of the body would definitely be reflected in the bends of the fabric, which is why patterned clothing can be such a pain, unless it's deliberately flat patterns like a Klimt.

[seleneheart]

Fair point with the shirt. Maybe I'll take it off him, get his torso correct, and then rethink his garments.