DRAWESOME

Since the last time I've spoken on here, I've had my birthday on St. Patrick's Day with my church family, friends, and a couple of relatives. It was fun! I liked treating people in hosting my church's coffee hour and at home. I loved seeing people I know meet and talk with each other. It's a sincere joy I have in that sort of communion. I count myself blessed in that way.

Lately, I've been in the mode of trying to see how I can get prepared for a number of things. Whether it's this Neocities page for updates, my mother's birthday, or even pondering over the path of being an illustrator as an artist, there's things to shed off or take on to give time to think on, such as how to network in getting myself out there. Should I begrudgingly get an Instagram again, despite how much it's changed from the algorithms to limiting posts to logged in users only? Never mind the fact that it can't load pages for me correctly from browsing too fast or...something.

My time on learning from my online art courses is coming to a close. I enjoyed the time I had, though I do need to put in the work of practice, which I did off and on during the subscription. I have a good bit of notes I've been taking from that, thanks to the way Obsidian is laid out; I find it really useful. I'll be glad to keep them as I work on the assignments away from the site to work on some unfinished works in progress that I feel more prepared to work on more thoughtfully. I am excited to work on them and share them more often, not just here on Neocities, but elsewhere.

Recently, I have been enjoying blogging on Dreamwidth despite having no audience. But that actually feels good to speak to the void! Though, if someone wants to say something nice to me, I don't mind. It's been a nice way to journal my thoughts. Perhaps, I'll go more in-depth on my artwork processes on there than anywhere else, if I feel like I want to do that on Dreamwidth. Makes me think I'll have to link it to my Carrd someday, but I'll think about it some more. I was more so wanting to focus on fanfiction and my art on there as a little hole in the wall, but if this is the place for it, then that's what I may resort to in some way. I do find it more fascinating to see one's works concentrated on a blog or website versus social media. It makes me appreciate them some more.

A lot has happened since the last journal entry. Some of that stuff was truly taxing and a bit traumatizing in losing some loved ones. Though, I've had some good times in celebrating people close to me. On top of that, I've been processing some things about myself, and I'm glad to be growing as a person in being more self aware of what I do. I just need to act on things and not worry about making mistakes. I think I realize that sometimes waiting too long can be a mistake in itself. I'm satisfied at least with that understanding.

So at least for today, I pushed myself to post my gallery and one of my museum pages. Everything's a work in progress, and I won't punish myself for my flaws for not feeling like it's perfectly done. It is what it is.

Much time has passed since I made a proper journal entry in my site.  Even though I tend to prefer my Dreamwidth for journaling, I've gotten used to putting my art here more than merely putting my thoughts out there.  It seems now we're living a drastically different time than from last year or the first 20 days of the year from January.

Maybe you get the hint. 

Otherwise, as far as my life goes?  Some good things have happened.  I'm aiming to do more with my personal goals with art, and I am having a couple of opportunities in to prove myself.  Despite the way I express myself with my close friends and neighbors, anxiety to prove myself to be perfect at what I do can still nip at me.  All I can do is really pace myself with my time, and aiming to be intentional in using that time well is what I should do.  Because that person believes in me.  I may be nervous, but I am thankful.    Finding some good resources with respect to illustration work has been helpful.  I should also go back to my SVS assignments to finish those as I study and draw this work.  I hope in the near future to be more bolder with my projects to so that others can be interested in my work as well as really get the ball rolling as an artist.

Otherwise, I am making so much progress with my story, The Secret Things!  I found some wonderful resources concerning comics such as this site (which I'll add to my art page), and it makes me so amazed and yet a bit sorrowful for myself.   Amazed in the way that this information isn't gatekept anymore, and that it can be such a great help to me.  On the other end, some of my sorrow I feel is for my younger self not having the access to this type of information.  Part of me feels that if I had known what it really took to be an artist back then, I wouldn't have made myself so foolish and naive about the various industries and what it really takes to not only make it but to stay employed and make those meaningful connections.

Anyway, I am getting to really write my outline for the first chapter in detail.  I've wrote a great amount of notes and ideas throughout last year, which should give me enough ammo to really get the show on the row with making comics the way I really want to.  I also have, at the back of my mind, to maybe make some short comics to practice script writing for comics that will ease me into my short serial.  Sometime, even though I've drawn out many characters, I will have to go through a character sheet and line up at some point in time.   All my respect to another online friend I keep in touch every now and then who has done such a great work for her own story.  I'm trying to get like you. 

Today, church was good.  I always get nice complements as a lay reader, which I partly credit to my Baptist upbringing that made me and the other youths really practice public speaking (even though it was brief or business type of things) in working in the church.  I always enjoy my Sunday School class with the priest and other congregants from the early service.  The post-church coffee hour was a bit fun today due to some of the older ladies wanting to watch the college women's basketball team on TV (yes, we've got a TV downstairs that we barely use, but there was a use today)!